Typically, when I want to ‘get away from the grind’ and play something frivolous, I load up my beloved DotA, my gateway drug to trash talking and the opportunity to rampage other kiddies with my Invoker. A short while ago, however, I was assigned to spend my spare time playing Wizard101, a children’s MMORPG with “collectible card magic, wizard duels, and far off worlds.” Thus, the weekend was spent doing just that; collecting hilariously politically correct cards (“Heck Hound”), duelling and attempting to trash talk 12 year old wizards ("You smell bad"), and exploring far off worlds, spending up to 45 minutes in combat, just so I could move forward 5 meters through a crowd of monsters (how!?).

Initially, the game starts you off as a young wizard hatchling; freshly emerging from your character creation screen and ready to cast spells at monsters in the form of a card game. Names are formed from three pre-generated parts, presumably so that your children will not have to deal with obscene character names. Much to my happiness, however, the character name that I reserve for children’s games, Digby Sparklepants, was available. Awesome.

Entering the world of Wizard101 with probably the creepiest looking Wizard ever, a few things struck me rather rapidly:

First, this game is child friendly . I don’t mean this in the sense that a cartoon is ‘child friendly’, but I mean this in the sense that this game is the kind of wholesome, 'let's have a good time,' 'poop is a bad word' child friendly experience you would typically find in a box of rice crispies. Monsters simply disappear when they die; sharp objects remain, but they are used to fire lasers, or, in one awkward case, they explode into a tree at your feet, which then explodes and assaults you with dirt; presumably 358 points of painful dirt.

As well, chatting in the game is limited, depending on the amount of interaction a parent wants to grant their child. In the most extreme of cases, individuals must communicate through a pre-made list of chatting terms; for those more grown up, free typing is available, but it is restricted to a white list of words. In this regard, then, I have been told to ‘faq off,’ but until I figure out a method of saying ‘poop’ without getting censored, my counter-arguments have been transformed into mere ellipses. Numbers and locations are also banned, so telling someone where you live and how old you are is near impossible (“the number of years that I have been in creation are equal to the number of letters in the first word, multiplied by the numbers in the second word: awesome hat”).

On a more positive note, looking past the ridiculously child friendliness of the game, the graphics are interesting and quite varied. The little children’s drawings which pepper the menus and mini-games are mind-poppingly cute, and the card names can evoke a small chuckle or two here and there. Players can dye their clothing to different colors, as well as purchase nameable pets that trundle after them, presumably participating in their masters’ adventures by being cute. I made sure to purchase a Unicorn for my wizardling, but this certainly does not mean that you have to as well (Baby Moose as a name, however, is patented and copyright). As well, animations that play out when one ‘uses’ a spell are quite animated and interesting; with so many spells in the game, it’s incredible to note that each and every one of them has a unique animation.

Mind-popping cuteness and the ability to name my Unicorn ‘Baby Moose,’ however, did not make up for Wizard101's shallow and underdeveloped turn based card-combat system. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging this from the view of a hardcore gamer who wants some kind of complex keyboard input every time he touches a card, but the fare being offered by Wizard101 is pretty bland. As each turn passes, you gain one "pip," or mana point. This pip is then utilized to cast a spell, or it is saved over the course of, say, four turns, so that you can amass four ‘pips’ to cast a better spell that you have in your hand. As well, you have a random chance to get a “power pip” that basically operates as a double pip when casting a spell of the same element your 'main' element. Fights in themselves can be fought by a "party," but this term is used loosely, because party combat consists of a random passerby “running” into your battle and instantly engaging. There is no kill stealing here, however, as loot and experience is fully granted to all participants. I suppose that this eliminates the need to really ‘organize’ a party, but at the same time, that level 1 novice who just joined the fight is really only adding another animation to sit through. Death in Wizard101 is pretty much non-existent, as players who faint during the battle can be healed as if they were at 1 hp, and if the whole party is wiped out, they’re simply sent back to town with 1 hp.

It isn’t the partying system (or lack thereof) that really inhibits Wizard101, however, but it’s the fact that all combat in Wizard101 takes place through the utilization of spell cards. If you remember that I mentioned a few moments ago that “each and every” card has a unique animation, you can clearly imagine what kind of game we’ve got if each card has at least a 5-10 second animation, and no method to skip it. The first time we see a spell cutscene, I’m sure we’ll all find it interesting, but when you try to get through a dungeon with a deck of spells that you have already seen, hundreds of times before, you can imagine that one would begin to tire of the fare being offered. I somehow managed to snag someone to wander through Dragonspyre with me, and after three battles over the course of an hour to two hours (it wasn't that we rested, it was that they took so long), I began to crave something else.
 
Aside from having abnormally long combat turns, Wizard101 suffers from oversimplification; probably to cater to its ‘tweeny’ demographic. You see, spell cards typically come in a few flavors: straight damage, damage over time, straight heals, heals over time, damage decrease, damage increase, force opponent to skip a turn, or summon a pet that does the above. The problem is that there are very few cards that can be considered 'combo' cards, aside from the +35% fire damage card being stacked on top of a fire damage spell; thus, combat in Wizard101 consists of shielding yourself, buffing yourself, and then throwing out a flaming elephant that deals lots of damage. I suppose my biggest qualm about the system is that there is very little strategy involved in creating a deck. I’m a huge TCG fan myself (I don't purchase cards, but I do enjoy the games), and the one thing that has always attracted me is the strategy and creativity that goes into deck building. In this regard, Wizard101’s concept of "buff your damage, buff your spell defenses, nuke with ninja pigs," just seems to be too simple; a player with a terrible deck has a chance of winning most TCG games if he plays with superior strategy, but Wizard101 is almost entirely defined by equipment and having the proper spell cards.

Perhaps the most interesting aspect of Wizard101, however, is the group PVP. Solo PVP generally transforms into who has the most gear and the most cards to survive, but group PVP is really interesting because it allows individuals to create fun little combos, where one player reduces his opponent’s fire resistance, the next player buffs his teammate's fire damage, and the buffed teammate throws out a super powerful combustion on his hapless opponent. The problem that arises here, however, is the same problem as before; the moment you get to a 4v4, I'm pretty sure you can imagine the pure agony of having to sit through 8 different spell animations, every round.

All in all, Wizard101 is a pleasant way to spend a short afternoon, but on the whole, the game really lacks the depth to be considered something of lasting interest. Children may be taken in by the addicting little mini-games that one can play for gold and items, and this is certainly an easy gateway introduction to more complex TCG games, but unlike Finding Nemo, or even Pokemon, there is no deeper complexity for parents to enjoy as well. It's simply... well... too child friendly. At least we can have a good time.

Christopher "Pwyff" Tom
Editor
Allakhazam.com