Argh, Matey - Set Yer Sales On the Caribbean!
When you're preparing to sail the high seas, be sure to take with you a few necessary items. A few changes of clothing, for there is no telling how long you may be away. Some heavy round shot, bar shot, and langridge - just in case you are set upon by unsavory characters. A heavy mast and new sail. Those seas can be rough! Naturally, some gold doubloons. Your coin purse should not be light when traveling to distant lands.
And rum, don't forget the rum! Several kegs, at least. I mean, really... it gets cold out there in the middle of the ocean, right?
This last week, I had an opportunity to take a tour of Pirates of the Burning Seas, the upcoming release from Flying Labs Software and Sony Online Entertainment. I learned quickly what was expected of a good pirate, and how to be properly prepared in every situation. It was so much fun, I thought I'd share the experience with you!
| "Aargh, ye scurvy dogs, how much trouble do ye think I can handle from the lot of ye?" Captain Lebow was in a fine state today, while we all gathered at the Inn to await his orders. "If I didn't know better, I'd think ye'd be lookin' to mutiny!" Yes, a fine mood, to be sure! After a few tankards of rum, he explained our mission to us. "I've received word that there are some French just off the shores of Tortuga, and that they're carrying their weight in the crown's gold. I intend to lighten their load just a bit!" Tortuga! While the French are known to be a difficult lot (with all their perfumes, we can smell 'em over the salty air from a mile out!), I'd set down my tankard and risk the sickness to return to Tortuga again! So, I nodded at Captain Lebow, letting him know I was in. His first mate, Pudenz, put an X in her log to indicate that I had agreed to his terms. I couldn't be positive, but she had a certain look to her that said she was anxious to begin torturing the men at sea with her powers as the First Mate - little did I know she would giggle in glee when she was finally let loose on the crew! Before setting sail, our holds were to be filled with extra masts and kegs of rum. There's no sense in being caught at sea without the necessities in life, is there? Captain Lebow and the crew were efficient at loading up in preparation for setting sail, and we were quickly on our way. We were not provided with our heading, and I assumed our adventure would lead us straight to the filthy French and their gold. Yet our fearless leader had different plans in store. It turns out that our dear Captain prefers to see the sights before setting himself upon his target! |  |
We traveled to various locations and asked around about the foe we were settings ourselves against. It would have been a terrible miscalculation if we were not completely prepared for anything they might throw at us. Especially if it was the fine silverware from their captain's table!
 | So much drinking was done in those first days at sea, while we worked to gain as much information as possible before setting off for the enemy’s last known location. This was fortunate, as they had sailed further west than we had originally thought. As you can see from my map, we definitely made the rounds of the various locations, and the French were finally located anchored off of one of the small island ports. They were quietly sitting anchored as the sea rocked them gently. It was a strange sight, in the setting sun... 3 lonely ships with no apparent course to follow. We worked our way around the ships, in an attempt to encircle them, and close of any chance at escape. Captain Lebow was of course the first one to battle - his ship being the swiftest of the flotilla. He set upon the French with his cannons immediately, thinking to catch them unaware. How wrong he was! We were soon hearing the screams of our men as we closed the gap. I flogged my crew to gain more speed out of them, and was able to arrive in time to draw fire from the captain. The enemy set upon me with renewed energy, bombarding me with all they had. Including the silver! I returned fire as quickly as I was able, working first to take out as many of the crew as I could. My experience has shown me that if you remove a ship's sail before you reduce the crew, enough men remain to continue firing at you! So we fired back at the scurvy dogs with the langridge we had stored. Naturally, the fine silver was set aside, hopefully to be sold for a tidy profit once we made port at Tortuga! Everything else, though, was fair game! We put all we had into our cannons and aimed across the calm seas. Once the screams died down a bit (boy, they sure can let out some caterwauling!) I ordered my crew to begin hammering at their masts. We loaded in the bar shot and started in on their sails.! |
By this time Captain Lebow was able to escape the heavy fire, and he set his crew to repairing the damage before his ship sank! You could hear the shouts of First Mate Pudenz above the screams of the French soldiers as she threatened the men with flogging if they didn't get the job done right the first time. Boy, she's one tough lady!
The other ships in our fleet have caught up and are assailing the enemy ships with additional firepower. Yet they refuse to sink! The French are truly a mighty foe - with their big hulls and even bigger sails! So on we fight, exchanging cannon fire across the balmy sea in hopes of gaining the advantage over the other. My crew is scrambling to keep up with the damage, and the water pouring in. New masts are going up, and the hull is being patched.
| However, despite their mighty efforts, we are sunk. Wooden splinters dot the water where we have gone down, and my crewmen are flailing about in the water looking for someone else to blame. May they all drown, the worthless seadogs! In the meantime, Captain Lebow and the other ships have fought valiantly, and the French are ultimately defeated. Their stores are raided and the loot is carried over to our allies' holds, to be divvied up later on once we reach our final destination. The great pirate city of Tortuga! Fortunately for me, the good Captain has taken a liking to me, and pulls us out of the ocean on his way to land. When we first came into the port, the sun had already set behind us and the shadows were getting deeper. Yet we knew our home town - we knew it would not be long before the bawdy laughter began pouring out of the well-lit common rooms of the alehouses. The off-key tunes of drunken men and women would fill the night air as we made our way through the streets, keeping an eye on the figures darting in the night, looking for an easy target to rob. The word "tortuga" is Spanish for "turtle", and was thusly named because of its humped shape reminding the early settlers of a turtle's shell. The inhabitants of this fine port have used this to their advantage. The city is ringed in hills, and the buildings and pathways themselves are made up of old ships no longer seaworthy to even the least finicky of sailors. So even while on the earth and surrounded by her unmoving ways, we are still sheltered among the ships that we have devoted our lives to - the homes in which we find ourselves most comfortable. |  |
 | My crew is quite anxious to be home, and once anchor is made they quickly disembark and make their way to the nearest tavern in hopes of drowning their worthless souls from their failings of the day. Lucky for them I was too tired from my swim in the sea to flog them all myself! Regardless, it was good to be home, and I was ready to sit in front of a fire with a tankard of ale. It has been a long trip this time out, and I am pleased with our results. Among the most prized possessions I am carrying home is my new kinship with Captain Lebow and his crew. While it has been rumored he is one of the most vicious pirates at sea, I found in him a man of fine manner, a warm smile when the crew is not looking, and a willingness to share his rum if the company is right. And while First Mate Pudenz was drunk in her powers (and still giggling, I might add!), she was a steady hand at the wheel and capable of gutting a man with the best of them. Afterwards, over a cup of rum, I sat and chatted with Captain Lebow, learning a bit of his past and where the tales of him began. I have written down that conversation for later generations to remember his stories and recall upon his glory days. You can find that here. All in all, it was a success. We lost few men and gained much in return. A trip I will not soon forget, especially since I have selected to use the French's fine silver at my table while at sea! Nothing quite like eating with the finest utensils! So farewell ye mighty pirates. May you have has much water under your keel as your hand is wide. I shall empty my mug, and leave with the next tide! |
Many thanks to Jess Lebow and Theresa Pudenz with Flying Labs Software, for the wonderful tour!
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