For starters, this has nothing to do with anything... I'm just bored and waiting on the quiz for my EMT class to pop up online.
So I logged on last night. Was the first time I have been on for longer then five minutes in close to a month, but things really didn't go as planned.
I started to lfg, my LS being empty as always, so I went looking for things to pass the time. Walked around in Whitegate, responded to random shouts, sent a few random shouts myself, oogled the AH... nothing out of the norm.
Something just seemed off. In the mildly short amount of time that I had been on, only /tells I got were from 3 random people saying "I thought you quit." At which point I had to explain for the bazillionth time that my account expires at the end of the month. Of course that leads to the all mighty "Can I have your stuff?" question. Would love to give stuff away, if only I had something to give, now stop asking!
Finally after 3 hours of looking, got a /tell in Japanese asking if I wanted to party. After a few deaths we ended up at camp, I started to pull away. I was only there for a couple of hours, but it felt like an eternity. It just dragged on and on, not that it was a bad party, but it wasn't the greatest either (~5k an hour).
It was just as I was thinking of an excuse to leave did it really dawn on me... I really was bored with the game. I don't know why, but I was just bored with everything I had done. Leveling was the mundane, missions were meaningless, quests were the bland, helping someone seemed to be nothing more then a facade.
I have been playing since the PS2 release... I have seen and done it all maybe? What part of this game lost its fun since my senior year in high school? Did my interests truly change that much as I grew from a child to a young man? I have made many friends in game, and I even met my now real life girlfriend there.
But now I no longer have any real urge to do things in game. I remember of only thinking about FF, how excited I was doing my AF missions, doing genkai. Those moments of how proud I felt like when I got my Assault Jerkin, when I hit level 70 on DRG and equipped my barone gear, how good it felt when I bought my scorpion harness. How these thoughts would cloud over into my real life, sitting in class thinking about going home and leveling, taking a quiz and wondering how dynamis was going to go... but alas, it seems it is no more.
Now the only things I can think about are finishing my EMT certification, starting fire school next year, being so excited about doing something I have wanted to do since I was five years old.
/Sigh... growing up sucks, but for some reason I am excited about it.