[Ultros] Pompous Tophats - (Insert Generic Hook Here)Follow

Are you a dedicated, pro gamer looking for a serious Free Company with the experience and competitive edge it needs to be on the forefront of FF14? Well then go away, because you sound like a douchebag.


About Us:
Pompous Tophats is a raiding FC with an emphasis on a good sense of humor. Let's face it, what is an MMO if not a miserable pile of grinded loot? You need a slew of fellow @#%^s to keep things interesting.

We're currently running 3 groups in Coil clearing turn 4 and are continuing Turn 5 progression. We've got the healers for 4 groups, and would like to start up another coil group ASAP. We raid Monday through Thursday (2 nights a week staggered across the 3 groups) at 8-9 EST. We have multiple crafters who can 2-star gear, run WP speedruns when it suits our fancy, and use emotes on each other in ways I doubt they were intended.


Recruitment:
Inactivity is always an issue around Christmas, especially with the release of two next-gen consoles. As such, we're looking for raiders to fill the voids in our static coil groups. With the release of patch 2.1, we're welcoming in newer players as well (especially PvPers). We're willing to teach if you've the rare capacity for learning. Message Alatar Skysong in-game for more info.

We're also looking for static PUGs or LS-groups who would be interested in a merger. Allow us to handle the administrative aspects of an FC while you continue to raid with our perks - All we ask is that you be as ridiculous as we are.

*Pompous Tophats reserves the right to exacerbate any and all character flaws through trolling in response to wanton acts of being a douche-bag and/or excessive verbal diarrhea.

Goals:

To run 100 meters in QWOP
To protect the world from devestation.
To avoid making too many Pokemon references.
To parody as many guild recruitment cliches as possible.
To figure out what "semi-hardcore" even means.

Rules:

Nobody over the mental age of four.
Forbidding disagreement with decisions you disagree with is strictly forbidden.
They're called Tarutarus, not Lalafell.
There will be absolutely no consumption of super-cereal while playing.
Use of proper grammar and punctuation is grounds for bonus points.
Do not follow Rule #6.

Narrative Mode Preference:
Pompous Tophats prefers to speak in the third person.

Website:
We've decked out our site with useful tools, information, and rewards for helpful members. Check out what we have to offer you:
PompousTophats.com

Stay tuned for some satirical thread bumping.

Edited, Dec 16th 2013 6:53pm by Voldrune

I'd just like to put it out there that we've had like a bazillion people apply over the past week here at Pompous Tophats, but we're still welcoming more. And despite that not being a real number with no quantitative meaning, you can trust me on this one because I've absolutely no incentive to convince you we're popular. An influx of applicants has clearly never been used as a tool to wrangle even more recruits, on this forum or any other.

[sarcasm]This is a post containing a relevant update to the FC's information - possibly news, changes to the website, or even information regarding in-game activities. It is not at all a thinly-veiled excuse to bump the post mere hours before the beginning of the Phase 4 Beta. Doing so would serve no purpose, as clearly everyone reads through these forum posts in their entirety before making an informed decision on which FC to join. No FC leader ever has posted pointless and useless news updates ever before and certainly will not now with the beta impending. Yup, no incentive to do so whatsoever.[/sarcasm]

Free Company is up and running. Message Alatar Skysong in-game for info.

Believe it or not we actually get recruits with this style of FC advertisement. Blows my mind too.

Joyous news: Our scant application form on the website has been more fully fleshed out! Because we have both casuals and raiders in the FC, I've done my best to keep the credential questions to a minimum. Instead, I've added some questions that I believe are absolutely vital to sorting out the humorous from the horrible. We'll invite those who manage to tickle our fancy. And we are very, very fancy.

http://www.pompoustophats.com/recruitment

Edited, Sep 24th 2013 8:58pm by Voldrune