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I tried PVP in eq2 when it first came out, on Darathar, and despised it. There was too much griefing, on both sides.
A lot has changed since that server was merged. The amount of griefing on new players has decreased dramatically once they implemented Adv Exp for PvP kills. No longer can somebody twink up an alt and kill new/weaker players without eventually outleveling them. There are still a few twinks around, but that's to be expected in any game with open world FFA PvP.
"Griefing" is a relative term that's often misused. You can't be griefed if you don't let somebody grief you. For example, one is harvesting in a zone and group rolls over them. So, the person revives, goes back to harvesting and gets rolled again. After the third time.. the victim is complaining that they're being "griefed". And, they're correct. They're griefing themselves. The veteran player on a PvP server will move to another zone to harvest or quest and come back later when the group has moved on. Or, if they're more pro-active, will call in a few guild mates to help them out or use the /yell command in the zone. Then instead of "Griefing" it turns in to a really fun group vs. group fight.
Also, when you're killed. Revive.. immediately. Don't sit around for the display of gloating that may occur from time to time from some of the less mature players.
These are just a couple of the suggestions I have for people who may have a misconception about "griefing". Griefing was more common and much more defined in some of the older games like Ultima Online, where not only could somebody kill you, but they could also take everything you owned from you including your armor, weapons and anything else in your back pack. Or even go that extra step to cut up your armor right in front of you. Over the years, looting has been more controlled in games like EQ2, and really took "griefing" out of the game. Yet the term seems to still apply somebody kills you.. whether it was a fair fight or not.
People in video games don't like to die. To some its even traumatic. Thus its natural think they've just been "griefed". When actually, those people are just out doing what the server is all about. There's nothing mean or ill willed about their intentions. You are another mob to them.. but a much more challenging mob with no scripted AI. There is no way to know if you are better, easier or worse equipped than them. And that's where the skill, risk and challenge comes in to play. :)