1. Is one starting city better than the other? In EQOA Qeynos has maybe 3 ppl in it at the most at one time because the xp spots suck near there for low lvs, so you basically have to go to FP.
It might be the reverse here, Freeport is the evil city, more people tend to play good characters. Also, the first levels don't really require any groups, although that is a good way to learn the game.
2. How many ppl can you have in a grp, is it 4 again?
6 in a group. You can combine several groups to make a raid, but be warned that you can not get xp in a raid.
3. What makes up a standard grp, Tank 4 DD's and a hlr?
Whatever you want actually. Unless you truly go for a hard target, a group works with just about every combination. If you have a healer and one good tank, the other four spots can be anything. And even that healer isn't 100% necessary, depending on what you want to do. But it is best if you get one though.
Normally, one tank, one healer, 2 or 3 DPS and one back-up tank. (paladin, or another guardian, or a monk,...)
4. Would you recommend a hlr for a noob's first toon? Might be easy to get to the buttons with.
I'ld go with a fighter myself actually to begin with. It all depends on what you want to play.
5. Whats the point of the home cities if everyone starts in FP or Qeynos?
You get a lot of quest givers in the home cities, you have brokers, houses, vendors, specific class trainers, ... You also have a transportation spell that will port you back to your home city. And that is very handy.
6. Can you really customize your toon too look how you really want him, like is there alot to choose from?
There's a good character creation screen, plenty of different styles and such to chose from. It beats any other game I played so far.