One drawback to playing a non-DPS class (i.e. fighter or healer) is your battles will be longer than that of a DPS class. You damage output will be low, so you'll slowly chip away at the mob.
Sure, you'll have better survivability, but it will take longer. If you want to blaze through mobs and be fairly protected, go with some sort of Scout like a Ranger, Assassin, or Brigand. Troubador/Dirge have good buff/debuff songs, but they do not put out as much DPS.
There is no "best" race. Each may have a special racial ability, but it is not a game-breaker. SOE has worked hard to ensure all races are fairly balanced.
This may be your opportunity to break from the norm. Female Elf Monk? Half-Elf Necromancer? Ogre Wizard? Halfling Paladin? It can be done!
There are several servers that are sporting a heavy load. Make your character during your normal play-time. Look at the server list and it will give you an idea of how loaded the servers will be when you play.
Najena is a great server, always people on, lot's of guilds in all levels. It was not hit by the recent server merge, so that speaks well for it's bustling population.
If you go with Najena, look me up. I can help you get started with some gear, spells, directions, and coin. :)