Xephus, sorry you had to experience something like that. I hope the other server you are on is better.
"That Other Game"(tm) was my first MMORPG. I'm always an in your face take the pain and hit back sort of character type. Warrior was a good fit. I read the forums here for better information and found out that, while Warrior is very versatile, you really have a set path to follow. Unless you wanted to be labelled gimp.
Now, I had no problems with being the best one can be at a job. And I don't view this as elitism until you start going over board and saying it is the "only" way to play x job. But the fact that I couldn't use a sword (preferred weapon) because it wouldn't be "best", made me start to understand the constrained path that exists. If I want to use a sword, I'd have to be a Paladin, or a G.Sword toting Dark Knight. Fortunately, Paladin is my calling in "That Other Game"(tm) and I haven't looked back.
In EQ2, I've noticed warriors with sword and board, 2h swords, axes, bo's, etc. I find that quite refreshing. Of course the fact that the fighter archetype branches out in so many different directions, yet accomplish pretty much the same thing is also a great thing. Because of such a balance, the job elitism facet is practically, imho, all but snuffed out. Until end game idiosynchrasies starts to come to light of course.
*Off topic*
The One and Only ffreak:
To say PLD is second choice to NIN, is not really well informed. BRD and RDM are useful, but a PLD worth their salt should be able to have the ability to make juice if it's needed, or at the very least have the space to carry a good number of bottles. So as long as there's a healer (massive DD or nuker groups aside, which party doesn't have a healer?) PLDs will have no trouble tanking in nearly all exp situations. Yes, you'll have more downtime but PLDs can be great tanks, depending on the player.
From my experience, NINs "require" a second provoker to take hate so they can get shadows back up. As a WAR and not main tank, I'd have to provoke the mob so the NIN can cast Utsusemi. Without the second tank and a goodly boost to evade, NINs can go down almost as fast as a WHM with no armor if they can't get their shadows up. Of course, one could cast stun or sleep on the mob to replace a second tank. NINs are required to spend a crazy amount of gil to be exceptional tanks. Primary hate holding for NINs would be the fact that they don't take damage but that's not enough. They need to use other powders, shuriken, etc. NINs can be great tanks too, depending on the player.
With the two aside each other, there may be an impression that PLD is more reliable in hate holding. They do not require someone else to do anything. Refresh is good, but with juice they don't have to worry too much. NINs need a way to incapacitate the mob so they can recast their shadows. Without them, NINs don't last long.
Now, as I said, both are great tanks if the player playing them is skilled. That's why you have both (plus WARs!). As to preference, there are different types of mobs (HNMs, BCNM, Avatars, take your pick) that calls for different tanks. Fast hitting mobs tear through shadows and eat the NIN for dessert. Slow, but super hard hitting mobs can slam a PLD to the ground.